Gift of the Day with Barb

Cloud with a Silver Lining

With wonders of Social Media, today, I logged onto my Facebook page and went to my profile, and realized that all four of the first friends that appeared had passed away with the last year.

It was oddly comforting, and yes, a bit bizarre at the same time.  But how nice it was to remember that they were and yes, still are, my friends.

People come in and out of our lives.  They give us love, job, support and companionship while they are with us; and when we lose them we feel sadness, grief and pain.  But I believe that they will always be our friends.  And today, due to a fluke, I was reminded of that fact. 

The Hawk: A Messenger From God

I recently lost a very close friend, and was given the gift of officiating her service.  

I have long had a special relationship with the blue heron, and have written about it previously in this blog.  So I assumed last week, that I would again be visited by a Blue Heron.  Imagine my frustration as day after day went by, with no Blue Heron coming to see me at my lake. 

My friend and I had in common our daily gifts of God, as seen through the miracles of the natural world.  She knew of my anticipating the Gift of God in each day, and the way that I await and anticipate those experiences. 

A week ago Saturday, I was beginning to prepare her service; standing at my glass door, gazing out on the balcony and the lake beyond, awaiting my blue heron.  The blue heron did not come. 

But my friend sent me a Red-Tailed Hawk

Through the glass of the door, only 3 feet away, the Hawk landed on the banister, and we gazed into each other’s eyes.  Majestic and glorious, I have never seen a hawk on my property, much less this close up.  We stared for what must have been 5 minutes.  I have heard that this never happens,  Hawks do NOT seek out people.  But my friend had.  She had come to see me!  To give me solace and guidance, and honestly, and in her own way— to have a bit of input into her service.

In Native American Cultures, hawks are visionaries and messengers.  It is my belief that there is never a moment when God is not trying to get a message through to us.  We are just too busy and unaware of what we need, and what we see, to be aware of them.  

But THAT day I received the message of the Hawk.  I have discovered for myself through seeing life with a new pair of glasses, there is always a gift in each day if I look for them.  This day, that gift was a Hawk.

The Hawk is able to soar high above the earth on the breathe of the Spirit of God.  The Hawk gave me the gift of recognizing that if we are able to free ourselves of our past… our pains… our sorrows… and soar above our earthly lives, God can help us to gain a greater perspective.  If we remain earthbound, the possibilities of life are much too limited. 

Soar high above today, and catch a glimpse of a bigger pictures.  Hawks are given keen eyesight, and we can access that if we are willing.   

‘For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face-to-face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. And now abideth faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.’

My friend, and her gift of a Hawk, was a freely given gift of love.  Soaring above, gaining a new perspective, I need to remember that God IS there in the every day.  That there is unconditional love to receive, and to share with others.  There is a new perspective in everything.  To everything there is a purpose.  Even in death. 

Finding Acceptance in the Unacceptable…

It may be one of the most quoted passages in literature. It’s from Page 449 (first 3 editions, pg. 417 in the 4th edition) of Alcoholics Anonymous or The Big Book as it is widely known:

And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation — some fact of my life — unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.

Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God’s world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.

Now….I don’t know or have a CLUE about what God’s purpose was in losing a very dear friend this week, so early,  or another very dear friend it looks like I am going to lose this week as well.  But, if I can accept that God has a plan in this it helps me.

I had the pleasure of meeting Dr. Paul O and his wife Max before they both died.  Paul said he had MANY people call and yell at him about this quote from his story.  And I am CERTAIN that he NEVER anticipated that it would be quoted as it is!  He said that he did NOT mean to say that the unconditionally loving God of his understanding was out to punish people and meant for bad to happen in the world.  He just knew, from his own life and his own experience that if he could accept what happened, that God would use those circumstances to help him and others.

I believe, personally, that when we were given ‘free will’ to make our own decisions it was a true gift.  But other people’s ability to make ‘free will decisions’ often impacts us.  I don’t think God decided to kill a bunch of people on 9/11 and made the terrorists hijack planes.  But, I believe that he gave THEM free will and it impacted and changed much of what America is today.  At the same time, those whose lives were most impacted, if they looked for God’s will in that moment for themselves, found strength and hope and meaning in what transpired.

Look God’s meaning in the unacceptable in your lives.  Accepting it as it is today will begin to bring you freedom.  Acceptance can be the answer to all of your problems, this day. 

Remember today that you are loved.  You are NOT alone. God will take whatever burdens you have, and if you can accept it, will help you to be better in the midst of it.  I don’t know how yet.  But I just know.  God loves you and so do I…

A Trip to The Abbey…

I recently had the gift to be allowed to visit the Gethsemani Abbey outside of Bardstown, Kentucky.  When I was going to graduate school in Kentucky, women were not allowed on the grounds, but that has changed since I last tried to visit.  I was even allowed to attend a service observing the monks. 

I have been contemplating what it must be like for the monks of Gethsemani to have a life dedicated to prayer and contemplation.  They do have daily chores that they are responsible for, but the majority of the day is spent in prayer and in celebration. There are seven services a day that they attend. 

It was on these grounds that Thomas Merton wrote “The Seven Story Mountain” and many other of his works.  One of his quotes says:

“Finally I am coming to the conclusion that my highest ambition is to be what I already am. That I will never fulfill my obligation to surpass myself unless I first accept myself, and if I accept myself fully in the right way, I will already have surpassed myself.”

— Thomas Merton

Over the past few years, taking this time to reflect on God’s gift in each day, I have managed to get closer and closer to just that.  To accepting myself for what I am.  And living in this way continues to give me the ability to see the good in myself as well as in the world around me. 

Yes, there is suffering in the world.  Yes, there are those that I pray for daily.  Yes, I have struggles and trials.  But in looking for the gift in the day…I am able to see God’s best in the world if only for a moment.  I am glad that I had the gift of visiting this beautiful place of prayer and be able to contemplate praying, again, a prayer that I was taught long ago..

God help me to want what I have…

A Cheerful Giver! A GRATEFUL Receiver!

How I long for the simpler times from my childhood, I spent many a Christmas in front of the Christmas tree, singing carols and making homemade ornaments. My grandmother and I use to make fruit cakes every year.  I would make Christmas Trees out of old phone books and Sears and Roebucks catalogs.  And of course, we would watch ‘White Christmas’, ‘Miracle on 34^th Street’ and ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ on TV each year. 

Today, it seems that the holidays are more full of hustle and bustle, stress and anxiety, spending and rushing, traffic and long lines than celebrating the wonder of Christmas. 

Today, I was thinking of all the countless Christmas presents that I have made and bought and given over the years.  But it was the one Christmas present, the one that was given back—NOT received—that came to mind.

I once gave a present to an employee for Christmas.  She not only didn’t open it, she threw it at me and said, ‘you can’t buy me with any trinkets’.  Needless to say, she was not happy in her job and left soon after.  But the feeling of having a gift that was not received has stayed with me all this time. 

You have probably heard, ‘It is better to give than to receive’.  But do you have the gift of being able to be a receiver? 

Has anyone paid you a compliment today?  Has anyone told you thank you for something that you have done for them?  Have you ever had someone compliment you on your performance or on a speech that you have made?  Can you ‘receive’ a compliment without having to push it away?

I use to have a lot of trouble accepting compliments.  Part of it had with my low self esteem and some of it came from my upbringing.  When someone told me thank you, I would often say, “Ah, it’s nothing.  I bought it on sale.” Or something other ridiculous to make it sound like I didn’t really deserve their thanks. 

If someone told me that I had done well on a project, or when I played in a concert, or spoke at an event, I was very self conscious and didn’t know what to do with the praise.  I would try to put the ‘thanks’ on someone else: my teachers, the event holder, etc. 

But it was the ‘gift of not being received’ that really changed my perspective (and yes, I think it was a gift for me today). 

When someone compliments you or tells you thank you, they are giving a gift.  For you to discount their compliments is to throw their gift back in their face.  Receiving the gift, well all it takes is saying, ‘Thank you!’  It isn’t really hard to do.  And it gets easier.  You are ‘receiving the gift’ by acknowledging it.  And all you have to say is thanks. 

Of course, how we receive presents is really the same thing.  If someone gives you a gift and you don’t have one for them do you feel guilty?  Do you rush out to get them something in return?  Can you receive when you did not give?  I hope so!  Thank you is sometimes the only gift that the giver really wants.

Christmas is a time for giving.  Be a cheerful giver.  But be a grateful receiver at the same time.  You will feel much better for it!