A Cheerful Giver! A GRATEFUL Receiver!
How I long for the simpler times from my childhood, I spent many a Christmas in front of the Christmas tree, singing carols and making homemade ornaments. My grandmother and I use to make fruit cakes every year. I would make Christmas Trees out of old phone books and Sears and Roebucks catalogs. And of course, we would watch ‘White Christmas’, ‘Miracle on 34th Street’ and ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ on TV each year.
Today, it seems that the holidays are more full of hustle and bustle, stress and anxiety, spending and rushing, traffic and long lines than celebrating the wonder of Christmas.
Today, I was thinking of all the countless Christmas presents that I have made and bought and given over the years. But it was the one Christmas present, the one that was given back—NOT received—that came to mind.
I once gave a present to an employee for Christmas. She not only didn’t open it, she threw it at me and said, ‘you can’t buy me with any trinkets’. Needless to say, she was not happy in her job and left soon after. But the feeling of having a gift that was not received has stayed with me all this time.
You have probably heard, ‘It is better to give than to receive’. But do you have the gift of being able to be a receiver?
Has anyone paid you a compliment today? Has anyone told you thank you for something that you have done for them? Have you ever had someone compliment you on your performance or on a speech that you have made? Can you ‘receive’ a compliment without having to push it away?
I use to have a lot of trouble accepting compliments. Part of it had with my low self esteem and some of it came from my upbringing. When someone told me thank you, I would often say, “Ah, it’s nothing. I bought it on sale.” Or something other ridiculous to make it sound like I didn’t really deserve their thanks.
If someone told me that I had done well on a project, or when I played in a concert, or spoke at an event, I was very self conscious and didn’t know what to do with the praise. I would try to put the ‘thanks’ on someone else: my teachers, the event holder, etc.
But it was the ‘gift of not being received’ that really changed my perspective (and yes, I think it was a gift for me today).
When someone compliments you or tells you thank you, they are giving a gift. For you to discount their compliments is to throw their gift back in their face. Receiving the gift, well all it takes is saying, ‘Thank you!’ It isn’t really hard to do. And it gets easier. You are ‘receiving the gift’ by acknowledging it. And all you have to say is thanks.
Of course, how we receive presents is really the same thing. If someone gives you a gift and you don’t have one for them do you feel guilty? Do you rush out to get them something in return? Can you receive when you did not give? I hope so! Thank you is sometimes the only gift that the giver really wants.
Christmas is a time for giving. Be a cheerful giver. But be a grateful receiver at the same time. You will feel much better for it!
